Yay meh

Hello my heart of sweets,

Just a bleh day. Feel kinda tired and lack of drive. Had no patients come to sick call which was awesome and so worked all morning on my personal statement. Afternoon finished another root canal. Didn't finish my statement but got lots of good input from others which was very cool of them. Tomorrow i have my all day class on suicide prevention which I will be nice to know what to do if someone needs help but not looking forward to all day class.

So again, I did not run, workout but did work on my statement, still didn't get to my other letters.

Tomorrow, I want to get out of feeling bleh. I have one goal, get up at 4am feeling happy.

I also didn't experience much today to draw from. I was very grateful for the help others gave to me and did get to talk about the importance of having kids and encourage a coworker to start his family after he has many hesitations. I'm thankful that we took the "plunge" and started a family. Honestly, I'm not sure we even really understood or contemplated what we would be getting ourselves into when we decided to have kids. We just did knowing we were told to (well I guess I should speak for myself). I remember Elder Hammond telling me that we were doing things right and thinking 'I sure hope so because I'm over my head.' But when talking about it today I realize that yes, at least I was a little naive then, but it WAS right and I'm glad we did it. And yes, we weren't prepared, but now I know that never is ANYONE prepared for parenting. The only thing that happens is later in life you are more aware and can rationalize your way into not having kids. Of course there are somethings that get better with age and maturity. I think we developed more patience. I feel a stronger capacity to love than I think I did then which is a big thing for me and a huge obstacle I have. I think as parents we need to take less of a leadership role and more of a mentoree role - I think we have more to learn from our children than often we have to give to them. We learn patience and love and they learn to wash dishes and pick up toys; see what I mean? We give them the standards and parameters and let them develop in a protected safe environment of love and we watch and learn, and as needed guide or direct. I  like you love and logic system and I think we need to respect that each of them are free spirits with their own agency. We could probably do more good by just getting out of their way and stand ready just to catch them in case they fall.

I got your back in all you do - I will even scratch your back if you need it; or rub your back... you get the picture.

You are my sweetheart.

Love,

You cuddle companion