It is way to late to be up and yet here I am. I was trying to cross stitch and it is slow going but I think that I am on the right track, for now.
It was fast Sunday and I actually remembered to fast, with the exception of tasting the sauce I was making for dinner and popping in a few grapes before I remembered... oops.
In sacrament meeting it was mentioned that we represent the gospel and Christ and the example we send to others. It got me thinking that if someone had to judge mormons, or the church, or even Christ himself(as we have promised to try to become like him to stand as a witness and example of him) how accurate would their perceptions be based on how I act. I know that I am weak and struggling in so many areas. I know there is so much that I don't know. How confident would I be to stand as a witness of Christ and be the only representation that someone may have of the Gospel. I need to strengthen my spiritual muscles and build my confidence in the knowledge that I do have and build upon it.
It was also mentioned in passing the scripture D&C 121:45. I love that scripture because of how powerful the imagery it is in the sentence "Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of thy God" What a joy it will to be to stand in front of our God in confidence. I know that I have not been doing all that I can do. I love to be lazy and I love to excuse myself from things or procrastinate and justify my lack of action. I do have a desire to be better but I seem to lack the drive to truly move forward in any significant manner.
45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
I am slightly getting off topic I really wanted to mention the first part of the scripture I remember our troubles as we were preparing to get married and the challenges to stem our physical desires and the council given to you to memorize this scripture. How perfect it is for our time apart now. I know that if we garnish out thoughts with virtue we shall be blessed. We shall find strength and confidence as we show charity and faith to those around us and build ur testimonies together. We can become one as we strive to each become more like our Savior.
The kids and I watched Saturdays Warrior and I basically balled through the entire thing. I am probably over emotional right now as I feel like I have a lot of things to work through emotionally. I am a push through it kind of person but I know that the stress leaks though every now and again as I watch cheesy LDS movies. Izaacs comment about the movie was that "there are too many songs in this movie" HA! he is such a boy. Have you seen Saturdays Warrior?? if you haven't had the pleasure then we will be renting it as soon as you get back. It is all about having more babies!!! you want more right???? JKS I am not that baby hungry. I am truly grateful for the ones we have and want to be the mother that they need and deserve before trying to add more onto our plate.
I apologize there there is no real coherent transitions between thoughts I am too tired to proofread and make sense of the things y fingers have put down.
I love you oh so much and I want to grow with you. I want to be old with you. I want to look into your wrinkly face 50 years down the road totally and completely smitten still. Looking into your poopy brown eyes and encircled in your warm embrace. ps I love your eyes even if you think they are poo colored:)
Monday, September 28, 2015
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Dear Lover Toes,
Another Sunday and wonderful day of just resting and relaxing. Of course you know I slept in to wake up to your call buzzing by my bed. Perfect thing to wake up to. Haven't seen the kids for a couple days so it was great to see them on FaceTime. Also loved getting to go for a morning walk and talk to you, definitely a highlight of my day!
Church was great. Good lessons about standing up for our beliefs even amidst persecution or opposition and lesson on pride. I'm pretty sure I need to read the lesson on pride again and spend some time working on that. Outwardly I think I put on a good face of humility or meekness and sometimes even convince myself to believe I am humble but that's the first sign that I am NOT humble - is when I start thinking that I am. Pride is definitely one of my major weak points and in subtle ways so that it is hard for me to really pinpoint exactly where and how pride is effecting me but there is no denying that it is. This is going to be a topic I believe I will be studying for a while.
Had brunch with the mormon posse then went to the library to "read" but all I read was the back of my eye lids for about 3 hours in their awesome recliners. Then went to the wood shop to get trained on their equipment and am totally excited to go make stuff...any suggestions?
I'm appreciative today that we have the technology to stay in communication. It's such a blessing to be able to see you and hear you and the kids every day. I can't imagine what it was like for all those soldiers deployed for a year or more and only getting to write letters and get occasional pictures. I'm also grateful for the church and church members and the support they bring. It is so amazing to have instant bonds with others and being able to share that deep connection and I appreciated spending some time with them over lunch and talking.
Miss you like Poo Bear misses honey,
Love,
Stinky toes.
Another Sunday and wonderful day of just resting and relaxing. Of course you know I slept in to wake up to your call buzzing by my bed. Perfect thing to wake up to. Haven't seen the kids for a couple days so it was great to see them on FaceTime. Also loved getting to go for a morning walk and talk to you, definitely a highlight of my day!
Church was great. Good lessons about standing up for our beliefs even amidst persecution or opposition and lesson on pride. I'm pretty sure I need to read the lesson on pride again and spend some time working on that. Outwardly I think I put on a good face of humility or meekness and sometimes even convince myself to believe I am humble but that's the first sign that I am NOT humble - is when I start thinking that I am. Pride is definitely one of my major weak points and in subtle ways so that it is hard for me to really pinpoint exactly where and how pride is effecting me but there is no denying that it is. This is going to be a topic I believe I will be studying for a while.
Had brunch with the mormon posse then went to the library to "read" but all I read was the back of my eye lids for about 3 hours in their awesome recliners. Then went to the wood shop to get trained on their equipment and am totally excited to go make stuff...any suggestions?
I'm appreciative today that we have the technology to stay in communication. It's such a blessing to be able to see you and hear you and the kids every day. I can't imagine what it was like for all those soldiers deployed for a year or more and only getting to write letters and get occasional pictures. I'm also grateful for the church and church members and the support they bring. It is so amazing to have instant bonds with others and being able to share that deep connection and I appreciated spending some time with them over lunch and talking.
Miss you like Poo Bear misses honey,
Love,
Stinky toes.
Saturday, September 26, 2015
Dear Favorite,
I just came from the theater here in Kuwait and watched "Intern". It was a cute movie and worth watching if you get the chance. Kind of a tear jerker though, I'll admit. Humans are just frail and we are all just like little kids sometimes - really I guess we are all kids in an eternal sense. We just need to feel loved and nourished and look to whatever we can find around us to fulfill those needs. I was thinking, I think we need to just snuggle our kids more. I know we made the choice to keep them out of our bed while they grow up, and I'm still glad we did because it is important to have that one private space, but at the same time I'm also sad because they just need to be snuggled and hugged and cuddled so much. No doubt the most important thing is that they know they are loved without a doubt.
I loved talking to you on the phone during my talk walk; talkie walkie. We should plan that more to just chat every week sometime.
On another note I saw a guy waiting at the counter in Starbucks flexing his bum cheeks. He was an older guy and he would flex both then alternate back and forth. Good exercise I guess.
I'm grateful we are so much on the same page. We see eye to eye and are definitely traveling this journey side by side at the same rate. I appreciate how when I lag behind you encourage me to catch up and on rare occasion I have the opportunity to do the same for you; but that's very rare. I look forward to building us in more ways and sharing our emotions and ideas with each other.
Thanks for being my bestie,
Justice
I just came from the theater here in Kuwait and watched "Intern". It was a cute movie and worth watching if you get the chance. Kind of a tear jerker though, I'll admit. Humans are just frail and we are all just like little kids sometimes - really I guess we are all kids in an eternal sense. We just need to feel loved and nourished and look to whatever we can find around us to fulfill those needs. I was thinking, I think we need to just snuggle our kids more. I know we made the choice to keep them out of our bed while they grow up, and I'm still glad we did because it is important to have that one private space, but at the same time I'm also sad because they just need to be snuggled and hugged and cuddled so much. No doubt the most important thing is that they know they are loved without a doubt.
I loved talking to you on the phone during my talk walk; talkie walkie. We should plan that more to just chat every week sometime.
On another note I saw a guy waiting at the counter in Starbucks flexing his bum cheeks. He was an older guy and he would flex both then alternate back and forth. Good exercise I guess.
I'm grateful we are so much on the same page. We see eye to eye and are definitely traveling this journey side by side at the same rate. I appreciate how when I lag behind you encourage me to catch up and on rare occasion I have the opportunity to do the same for you; but that's very rare. I look forward to building us in more ways and sharing our emotions and ideas with each other.
Thanks for being my bestie,
Justice
Friday, September 25, 2015
I LOVE YOU!
Just had to start the letter with that! You definitely are my favorite and best counterpart!
This has been an eventful week here in Kuwait. Tuesday we took a trip to Kuwait city to visit some dental clinics. I was amazed of the wealth of the place. The clinics were so extravagant, I've hardly seen anything like them. The culture seems so interesting yet mysterious to me. We met with the owner of the clinics and it was surprising that he seemed so humble and approachable. He shared a story of how he and his son were at the site in Kuwait City where the bombing occurred. He and his son were prostate in the worshipping position when only several feet away the bomb went off. If it weren't for them being in that prostate position, he said they would have died. I understand that there was somebody with him at the time next to them that did die. He didn't like to talk about it. He said, though, that it changed his views on material things and encouraged him to live life for the important things. Always a good lesson.
We were supposed to stick to a certain schedule of visits but got side tracked but this guy's invitation to see his other, nicer clinic which happened to be downtown and next to some sweet tourist attractions which seemed just out of the way to visit. So we took a slight detour to look at the sights and consequently got hit by a car in the parking lot. One, I had the opportunity to be the stick in the mud and speak up and say "maybe we should stick to the plan" but of course didn't (I really wanted to go see that stuff too). Also there is the lesson that as soon as we fall off the prescribed path we instantly become vulnerable. That isn't to say we couldn't have gotten in an accident on the route, but the point is we void the protection promised us once we leave it. That also got people starting to conspire lies about why we were there and how to report it. I really didn't want to get anyone into trouble so at first I went along with the story I was being told to tell. But later, in a one on one conversation with one of the assistants while the major was hashing it out with the police, she admitted that she felt that there wasn't much use in trying to bend the story. I was relieved by her saying that and it gave me the courage, when were back in the car and everyone was tryiing to get our story "straight", to say I think we should just tell the truth. I was also very surprised that immediately after the major says "yeah, there is no use in trying to tell a story. At this point we should just tell the truth." I'm grateful that there are people who regardless of faith have moral compasses. I'm grateful for the priesthood that allows me to have a moral compass as well and also a responsibility to defend and sustain truth. I was reprimanded and encouraged that day to stand as a witness at all times of the truth and defend it.
I want to say thanks for the packages and all the lovely treasures in it! I think everyone at work enjoyed seeing what was inside as well - there were some random things in them! I especially like the ear wax vacuum.
I've been thinking a lot of making a mark in the world. Well in sorts those have been my thoughts. Actually I was staring at the pictures I hung in my office you sent. I put the one of Christ with the candle in my office along with several of our family. I was thinking, how can I be more of a light like the one in the picture? As I looked from that picture to our family picture of you all on bears hump, I thought "there's my light!" Our children are the lights that we send out into the world to be on mountains and to shine forth! I don't believe that I am very great at being a spokesman or great beacon but there is hope in our children that we can raise them to be lights and examples and build their courage and faith to enter into the craziness of the world and stand up and out for truth and all that is good and be lights for Christ. Our posterity are the extensions of us and out lights can shine through them! This gives me hope and purpose as a parent.
I sometimes just can't stop thinking of you almost to the point that I feel it might be obsession. But to be obsessed with you is good, right? I feel so driven to be so loyal to you and compelled to be by you as much as I possibly can. I think it is in my nature to be extremely close and intimate with the 'few' in my life and I just have this overwhelming desire to be as inhumanly close to you as I can. Have I weirded you out? Well, if so, sorry, I'm not changing. I want you and to be with you and feel you close to me and to share all I have and am with you. I feel it is a blessing I have been given to just be able to have that ability and desire to be so united with my companion like that. In other relationships I find it difficult sometimes to make new friendships easily, but with you it has been so so easy and so deep and I just yearn to be deeper with you. I am ever so grateful for our relationship and love and that we found each other and are eternal companions!
So I'm weirdly and wildly, ever so madly in love with you!
Justice
Just had to start the letter with that! You definitely are my favorite and best counterpart!
This has been an eventful week here in Kuwait. Tuesday we took a trip to Kuwait city to visit some dental clinics. I was amazed of the wealth of the place. The clinics were so extravagant, I've hardly seen anything like them. The culture seems so interesting yet mysterious to me. We met with the owner of the clinics and it was surprising that he seemed so humble and approachable. He shared a story of how he and his son were at the site in Kuwait City where the bombing occurred. He and his son were prostate in the worshipping position when only several feet away the bomb went off. If it weren't for them being in that prostate position, he said they would have died. I understand that there was somebody with him at the time next to them that did die. He didn't like to talk about it. He said, though, that it changed his views on material things and encouraged him to live life for the important things. Always a good lesson.
We were supposed to stick to a certain schedule of visits but got side tracked but this guy's invitation to see his other, nicer clinic which happened to be downtown and next to some sweet tourist attractions which seemed just out of the way to visit. So we took a slight detour to look at the sights and consequently got hit by a car in the parking lot. One, I had the opportunity to be the stick in the mud and speak up and say "maybe we should stick to the plan" but of course didn't (I really wanted to go see that stuff too). Also there is the lesson that as soon as we fall off the prescribed path we instantly become vulnerable. That isn't to say we couldn't have gotten in an accident on the route, but the point is we void the protection promised us once we leave it. That also got people starting to conspire lies about why we were there and how to report it. I really didn't want to get anyone into trouble so at first I went along with the story I was being told to tell. But later, in a one on one conversation with one of the assistants while the major was hashing it out with the police, she admitted that she felt that there wasn't much use in trying to bend the story. I was relieved by her saying that and it gave me the courage, when were back in the car and everyone was tryiing to get our story "straight", to say I think we should just tell the truth. I was also very surprised that immediately after the major says "yeah, there is no use in trying to tell a story. At this point we should just tell the truth." I'm grateful that there are people who regardless of faith have moral compasses. I'm grateful for the priesthood that allows me to have a moral compass as well and also a responsibility to defend and sustain truth. I was reprimanded and encouraged that day to stand as a witness at all times of the truth and defend it.
I want to say thanks for the packages and all the lovely treasures in it! I think everyone at work enjoyed seeing what was inside as well - there were some random things in them! I especially like the ear wax vacuum.
I've been thinking a lot of making a mark in the world. Well in sorts those have been my thoughts. Actually I was staring at the pictures I hung in my office you sent. I put the one of Christ with the candle in my office along with several of our family. I was thinking, how can I be more of a light like the one in the picture? As I looked from that picture to our family picture of you all on bears hump, I thought "there's my light!" Our children are the lights that we send out into the world to be on mountains and to shine forth! I don't believe that I am very great at being a spokesman or great beacon but there is hope in our children that we can raise them to be lights and examples and build their courage and faith to enter into the craziness of the world and stand up and out for truth and all that is good and be lights for Christ. Our posterity are the extensions of us and out lights can shine through them! This gives me hope and purpose as a parent.
I sometimes just can't stop thinking of you almost to the point that I feel it might be obsession. But to be obsessed with you is good, right? I feel so driven to be so loyal to you and compelled to be by you as much as I possibly can. I think it is in my nature to be extremely close and intimate with the 'few' in my life and I just have this overwhelming desire to be as inhumanly close to you as I can. Have I weirded you out? Well, if so, sorry, I'm not changing. I want you and to be with you and feel you close to me and to share all I have and am with you. I feel it is a blessing I have been given to just be able to have that ability and desire to be so united with my companion like that. In other relationships I find it difficult sometimes to make new friendships easily, but with you it has been so so easy and so deep and I just yearn to be deeper with you. I am ever so grateful for our relationship and love and that we found each other and are eternal companions!
So I'm weirdly and wildly, ever so madly in love with you!
Justice
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Sunday reflections
I arrived in Magrath just as Aub and Deric were pulling out with our kids to go to church. I wasn't in a dress so I stopped at home first to change and really wanted to stay there. But I ultimately determined that I should be in the right place at this time and that place was church. I snuck in behind the kids and they came and sat by me. It was nice to snuggle them for a minute before separating for classes. Preston went to nursery really well. He still cries when I leave but I watch through the window and he always calms down right away. I make sure to say good bye to him and let him know I am coming back. He is such a big boy these days.
The man talking in Sacrament meeting spoke about the good samaritan and at first I felt like he really missed the point of helping the lame on the road and not being too preoccupied to stop and be christlike. but he spoke about how the good samaritan was like Christ and that the first two people couldn't have been any help to the man because they were the "wrong person" for the job. He said that Christ is the one who can help us and we are the one on the road needing his kindness and sacrifice. We could also be the helpful innkeeper who fulfilled the directions of "christ" in helping other lost and hurt soles. I appreciated another view point from him and it taught me that these are parables and we can learn from them many different ways if we are willing to be teachable.
The lesson in Relief Society was on President Bensons talk about pride. I really appreciated the reminder that we need to constantly be seeking Gods approval and that is all we need. Especially in parenting. If we are teaching our children to be quiet in church because we are thinking about the people around us and what they will think of them(and us) and how they are acting, then we are being prideful. But if we are teaching them to be reverent because it is showing love to our Heavenly Father and we as parents have that as our goal then all else will fall into place. I have a new resolve for us... yes you too because we are a team.
To forget about the world. Not to look side to side and base things off of what others do or think we should do but to focus on what God wants us to do and how to treat them.
I know I have a lot of work to do.
I just felt so free from that thought.
I feel like we don't have to be accountable to anyone else except God.
It just feels so focused and I feel empowered. The world can pull us in so many directions and it is confusing and loud but Christ and our Father in Heaven only guide us one direction and it is the peaceful path.
I have been trying to think of the peaceful parenting path (extra points for alliteration) dealing with our children and although I don't know that they have felt a difference yet, I sure have. I want to bring peace into our home. That doesn't mean that it will always be quiet and serene I feel quite the opposite but I want it to have the spirit and that brings a peaceful happiness that nothing can replace.
I am so tired from the wedding that I am not sure that I have made complete sense but I feel encouraged and ready for the next week.
As always I miss you wonderfully, meaning I am getting good at it...?...
I look forward to having your sour face in my hands and adding a lil' sugar to it.
The man talking in Sacrament meeting spoke about the good samaritan and at first I felt like he really missed the point of helping the lame on the road and not being too preoccupied to stop and be christlike. but he spoke about how the good samaritan was like Christ and that the first two people couldn't have been any help to the man because they were the "wrong person" for the job. He said that Christ is the one who can help us and we are the one on the road needing his kindness and sacrifice. We could also be the helpful innkeeper who fulfilled the directions of "christ" in helping other lost and hurt soles. I appreciated another view point from him and it taught me that these are parables and we can learn from them many different ways if we are willing to be teachable.
The lesson in Relief Society was on President Bensons talk about pride. I really appreciated the reminder that we need to constantly be seeking Gods approval and that is all we need. Especially in parenting. If we are teaching our children to be quiet in church because we are thinking about the people around us and what they will think of them(and us) and how they are acting, then we are being prideful. But if we are teaching them to be reverent because it is showing love to our Heavenly Father and we as parents have that as our goal then all else will fall into place. I have a new resolve for us... yes you too because we are a team.
To forget about the world. Not to look side to side and base things off of what others do or think we should do but to focus on what God wants us to do and how to treat them.
I know I have a lot of work to do.
I just felt so free from that thought.
I feel like we don't have to be accountable to anyone else except God.
It just feels so focused and I feel empowered. The world can pull us in so many directions and it is confusing and loud but Christ and our Father in Heaven only guide us one direction and it is the peaceful path.
I have been trying to think of the peaceful parenting path (extra points for alliteration) dealing with our children and although I don't know that they have felt a difference yet, I sure have. I want to bring peace into our home. That doesn't mean that it will always be quiet and serene I feel quite the opposite but I want it to have the spirit and that brings a peaceful happiness that nothing can replace.
I am so tired from the wedding that I am not sure that I have made complete sense but I feel encouraged and ready for the next week.
As always I miss you wonderfully, meaning I am getting good at it...?...
I look forward to having your sour face in my hands and adding a lil' sugar to it.
Dear Love of My Life,
I gave my first 40 minute talk in sacrament today. Being the only speaker was a little intimidating but luckily there was only about 10 people at church so it wasn't too bad. I talked about "heroes" and "turning lemons into lemonade". I tend to pick crazy obscure topics when I do talks so they also tend to be a hit or miss when they turn out. As long as the Spirit is there, right?
Sunday also means Sunday brunch at the difac, which means waffles baby! Splurged and had two waffles and bacon on top of one waffle with chicken and strawberries and whip cream on the other (no I didn't mix those). Pretty exciting. Thought you'd be excited too!
Called Mom. Said she enjoyed having y'all visit (like what else could she say? I didn't like having the kids and they stink?!) But really, they were very happy to see y'all (twice in one paragraph). I told them about our woes/concerns with the 'eldest' and feel it is something we should follow up with - regards to the poisoning talk. I just think we need to be actively trying to show him he is loved and prayerfully find how to do that.
Afterwards I've been watching videos about the middle east and the Ottoman empire. Totally am into it and is really fascinating. Wish I could have you snuggled up by me as I watch and you inevitably fall asleep.... you know it's true.
Tomorrow I plan to go to the gym at 3am and work with my trainer for the first time. It's leg day tomorrow. I plan on taking pictures in the afternoon so I can send them to you of the uniform. I'm restarting my diet and planning on paying someone to pick me up lunch. I can't stand walking across the desert for lunch and then also losing a whole 1 1/2 hours when I could do some CE or something. I plan on starting my first CE class tomorrow. I need to buy Cora's horse and send out the package. I also need to start on my application by printing off the checklists and directions and make a plan. Hopefully with all that I can then get to bed early...
-----
What I learned today is that we can't do it alone. I got this from my talk. I spoke about all the great heroes from the scriptures that turned bad situations into good ones. I started with Joseph of Egypt and how he turned his slavery, then imprisonment into victories. Then how Moses showed the children of Israel that every dire situation can be overcome with faith (parts the seas, water from rocks, manna from the sky, healing serpent stick...). Nepali relied on the Spirit to help him when there was no obvious way, and then built a boat against criticism, and navigated to the promised land amidst storms. The people of Alma had their burdens eased and were able to work cheerfully and be freed miraculously by the Lord. Ammon was wise but harmless when he used his experience protecting the flocks to convince Lamoni of the power of God. Moroni had faith that couldn't be shaken that led him to victory. The stripping warriors were true at all times and though more upon others and were preserved. Joseph Smith against constant persecution restored the gospel and built up the kingdom of God. And most importantly, the Savior turned all bad things into good as he healed the sick, and blind, and maimed. He fed thousands with 7 loaves and fishes. He turned water into wine. He raised the dead. And ultimately raised himself from the dead. A talk I read stated that this ability to turn bad things into something good is a godly trait. What I learned from reading each story is that 1. Each of these heroes had great faith that the Lord would protect and deliver them 2. Each hero thought more of those around them than them self. 3. Each humbly gave credit to the Lord.
I know I also can't do anything without you. We are a great match and when together can do great things. I'm glad you made it back from the wedding safe and the chance to go with your family. Don't miss any moment because we don't get many of them. Take advantage of each opportunity. I know that you can turn lemons into lemonade because you've certainly made me feel sweet!
You be the sugar, I'll be the lemons.
Love you sweetheart!
Your pucker face
I gave my first 40 minute talk in sacrament today. Being the only speaker was a little intimidating but luckily there was only about 10 people at church so it wasn't too bad. I talked about "heroes" and "turning lemons into lemonade". I tend to pick crazy obscure topics when I do talks so they also tend to be a hit or miss when they turn out. As long as the Spirit is there, right?
Sunday also means Sunday brunch at the difac, which means waffles baby! Splurged and had two waffles and bacon on top of one waffle with chicken and strawberries and whip cream on the other (no I didn't mix those). Pretty exciting. Thought you'd be excited too!
Called Mom. Said she enjoyed having y'all visit (like what else could she say? I didn't like having the kids and they stink?!) But really, they were very happy to see y'all (twice in one paragraph). I told them about our woes/concerns with the 'eldest' and feel it is something we should follow up with - regards to the poisoning talk. I just think we need to be actively trying to show him he is loved and prayerfully find how to do that.
Afterwards I've been watching videos about the middle east and the Ottoman empire. Totally am into it and is really fascinating. Wish I could have you snuggled up by me as I watch and you inevitably fall asleep.... you know it's true.
Tomorrow I plan to go to the gym at 3am and work with my trainer for the first time. It's leg day tomorrow. I plan on taking pictures in the afternoon so I can send them to you of the uniform. I'm restarting my diet and planning on paying someone to pick me up lunch. I can't stand walking across the desert for lunch and then also losing a whole 1 1/2 hours when I could do some CE or something. I plan on starting my first CE class tomorrow. I need to buy Cora's horse and send out the package. I also need to start on my application by printing off the checklists and directions and make a plan. Hopefully with all that I can then get to bed early...
-----
What I learned today is that we can't do it alone. I got this from my talk. I spoke about all the great heroes from the scriptures that turned bad situations into good ones. I started with Joseph of Egypt and how he turned his slavery, then imprisonment into victories. Then how Moses showed the children of Israel that every dire situation can be overcome with faith (parts the seas, water from rocks, manna from the sky, healing serpent stick...). Nepali relied on the Spirit to help him when there was no obvious way, and then built a boat against criticism, and navigated to the promised land amidst storms. The people of Alma had their burdens eased and were able to work cheerfully and be freed miraculously by the Lord. Ammon was wise but harmless when he used his experience protecting the flocks to convince Lamoni of the power of God. Moroni had faith that couldn't be shaken that led him to victory. The stripping warriors were true at all times and though more upon others and were preserved. Joseph Smith against constant persecution restored the gospel and built up the kingdom of God. And most importantly, the Savior turned all bad things into good as he healed the sick, and blind, and maimed. He fed thousands with 7 loaves and fishes. He turned water into wine. He raised the dead. And ultimately raised himself from the dead. A talk I read stated that this ability to turn bad things into something good is a godly trait. What I learned from reading each story is that 1. Each of these heroes had great faith that the Lord would protect and deliver them 2. Each hero thought more of those around them than them self. 3. Each humbly gave credit to the Lord.
I know I also can't do anything without you. We are a great match and when together can do great things. I'm glad you made it back from the wedding safe and the chance to go with your family. Don't miss any moment because we don't get many of them. Take advantage of each opportunity. I know that you can turn lemons into lemonade because you've certainly made me feel sweet!
You be the sugar, I'll be the lemons.
Love you sweetheart!
Your pucker face
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
ramblings from today
We are getting ready to head to Bigfork as soon as the kiddos get home from school. Mom is going to come with us because she has not much else better to do:) I am excited for the road trip, it is a beautiful day here. It looked like it may snow yesterday but held out with just rain. Each day is so unpredictable you just have to appreciate the sun while it is there.
Ava has been SUPER grumpy yesterday and today. You can tell she is trying to be happy because she will giggle at this or that that I try and distract her with but then something will happen and she brakes down again. She is definitely not feeling well to be so opposite from herself. She also has no appetite right now which is working in Preston's favor as he seems to be picking up the slack for her. I make them lunches in Ava's lunch box if we are leaving anywhere and Preston ate both of their sandwiches and most of the rest of her food. He is a growing boy.
Preston peed on the potty for the first time yesterday, which in my world is major excitement. It was so funny to watch as he tried to aim himself down but ended up peeing everywhere or just poking himself inward. Ahhh little boys, I can feel the start of an adventure waiting to happen.
We got your first package today!! Thanks for all the army paraphernalia:) we will be sporting it soon. The kids will be thrilled to get their coins along with the FHE lesson you sent. Which means you have until Monday to send us a picture in your army getup!
I love that you can still be so involved in our lives even though you are so far away. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and dedication to us. I love you and hope you have a good day today. I miss you always but I know we will be reunited soon.
P.S. I love you more then twist Ice cream cones too,,, but both together would be epic!! maybe on a cruise??!??!
much love to be sent to you!!
Wifie!
Ava has been SUPER grumpy yesterday and today. You can tell she is trying to be happy because she will giggle at this or that that I try and distract her with but then something will happen and she brakes down again. She is definitely not feeling well to be so opposite from herself. She also has no appetite right now which is working in Preston's favor as he seems to be picking up the slack for her. I make them lunches in Ava's lunch box if we are leaving anywhere and Preston ate both of their sandwiches and most of the rest of her food. He is a growing boy.
Preston peed on the potty for the first time yesterday, which in my world is major excitement. It was so funny to watch as he tried to aim himself down but ended up peeing everywhere or just poking himself inward. Ahhh little boys, I can feel the start of an adventure waiting to happen.
We got your first package today!! Thanks for all the army paraphernalia:) we will be sporting it soon. The kids will be thrilled to get their coins along with the FHE lesson you sent. Which means you have until Monday to send us a picture in your army getup!
I love that you can still be so involved in our lives even though you are so far away. I appreciate your thoughtfulness and dedication to us. I love you and hope you have a good day today. I miss you always but I know we will be reunited soon.
P.S. I love you more then twist Ice cream cones too,,, but both together would be epic!! maybe on a cruise??!??!
much love to be sent to you!!
Wifie!
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Dear Eternal Companion,
I just want you to know how fully committed I am to you, just you, only you. You! Forever you!
Today we had our Sunday school lesson on chastity. I have to say it was one of the best taught lessons I have maybe ever heard on it. We talked on the blessings of living the law of chastity to have your "confidence wax strong in the presence of the Lord" and have "increased love and peace, greater trust and respect for our marital partners, deeper commitment to each other, and therefore a deep and significant sense of joy and happiness," as well as deepened unity and closeness to the Lord. All of these blessings are at the top of my list of importance for me to obtain and ensure for my family - the greatest and most important and cherished gift of God I have been given. Therefore there is and should be nothing that I wouldn't do or any sacrifice too great or degree of discipline too much to ensure these blessings for myself, you, and our children.
So I declare to you now: I am and have been single to you. I will continue to have complete fidelity to our marriage and to the Lord for sealing and sanctifying our marriage in the eternities. I have certainly not been perfect, and you are well aware of that. But I have felt of the healing power of the atonement. I pray for strength to discipline my thoughts so that when I return from this deployment we can look into each other's eyes and see only pure love and admiration for one another and the peace and confidence of the Spirit that binds us and brings us together in perfect and eternal unity. This very moment is worth its weight in gold and every sacrifice to make it happen and is the main (not just one of many or one of the top - I mean THE principle and only at the VERY top of the list) priority for this time away.
I want to feel and be ever closer to you, more unified as one, more drawn together in the Spirit and in perfect love and harmony than ever before. I seek to make our love deeper and more complete which love can only come from the Lord who blesses us for coming unto Him and living His gospel.
I know that the gospel is the true path of happiness. That it is the laws whereby heaven is governed and are never changing truths and principles of obtaining happiness. I know that the Savior and Redeemer made it possible for us to travel this path, that He lives, and is available always to strengthen us in the sometimes difficult passageways of life and catch us, should we put our trust in Him, when we fall. Families can be eternal and is the principle goal and pinnacle of achievement in Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. I know these things are true and want you to know that I know that.
I feel like I just wrote a talk instead of a letter but who better to bear my testimony to than you. Again, I can't express enough or adequately well how much I love you and adore you. We are truly in this together and am grateful for this reminder I have had of that.
With all my love and commitment and loyalty,
Your eternal companion.
I just want you to know how fully committed I am to you, just you, only you. You! Forever you!
Today we had our Sunday school lesson on chastity. I have to say it was one of the best taught lessons I have maybe ever heard on it. We talked on the blessings of living the law of chastity to have your "confidence wax strong in the presence of the Lord" and have "increased love and peace, greater trust and respect for our marital partners, deeper commitment to each other, and therefore a deep and significant sense of joy and happiness," as well as deepened unity and closeness to the Lord. All of these blessings are at the top of my list of importance for me to obtain and ensure for my family - the greatest and most important and cherished gift of God I have been given. Therefore there is and should be nothing that I wouldn't do or any sacrifice too great or degree of discipline too much to ensure these blessings for myself, you, and our children.
So I declare to you now: I am and have been single to you. I will continue to have complete fidelity to our marriage and to the Lord for sealing and sanctifying our marriage in the eternities. I have certainly not been perfect, and you are well aware of that. But I have felt of the healing power of the atonement. I pray for strength to discipline my thoughts so that when I return from this deployment we can look into each other's eyes and see only pure love and admiration for one another and the peace and confidence of the Spirit that binds us and brings us together in perfect and eternal unity. This very moment is worth its weight in gold and every sacrifice to make it happen and is the main (not just one of many or one of the top - I mean THE principle and only at the VERY top of the list) priority for this time away.
I want to feel and be ever closer to you, more unified as one, more drawn together in the Spirit and in perfect love and harmony than ever before. I seek to make our love deeper and more complete which love can only come from the Lord who blesses us for coming unto Him and living His gospel.
I know that the gospel is the true path of happiness. That it is the laws whereby heaven is governed and are never changing truths and principles of obtaining happiness. I know that the Savior and Redeemer made it possible for us to travel this path, that He lives, and is available always to strengthen us in the sometimes difficult passageways of life and catch us, should we put our trust in Him, when we fall. Families can be eternal and is the principle goal and pinnacle of achievement in Heavenly Father's plan of happiness. I know these things are true and want you to know that I know that.
I feel like I just wrote a talk instead of a letter but who better to bear my testimony to than you. Again, I can't express enough or adequately well how much I love you and adore you. We are truly in this together and am grateful for this reminder I have had of that.
With all my love and commitment and loyalty,
Your eternal companion.
Saturday, September 12, 2015
Walk with me part 10
Dear Love,
Yesterday I ran. Yes, it is astonishing but I did truly run and it HURT! I ran the 5K early in the morning in Kuwait with a million percent humidity and a billion degrees and (as I found out 1/4 way into the race) I ran it very out of shape. At about the 1/4 way mark, I realized I need some motivation to keep me going or else I was going to give into this extremely strong desire to stop and walk. So I noticed a couple of girls running next to me that one had a bright colored shirt that made it easy to track and they seemed to have been right ahead of me the whole time so far. I thought "if these girls can run this race than certainly I should be able to also, I'll just keep up with them." It turned out that these couple of girls were in obvious better shape than I was because not too long ahead, the one bright shirt started to get lost in the other shirts ahead. So I tried to catch up. Certainly I couldn't let them beat me! Eventually they apparently got tired too because they stopped to walk. "Hah!" I thought, "I got them now". Several minutes later they strolled by me again. A couple times this went on, but each time they got ahead, it pushed me to run faster. And in the end - well, they beat me. But we were pretty close...and I never stopped running like I was tempted to.
Do you know why you are the best girl for me? There are actually many reasons but one I pondered today is because you are as close to an exact replica of myself that I can picture anyone being. I remember when we were dating and I was pondering and pondering until my ponderer was sore about how to know who the right girl to marry would be and know we would be a compatible match. Then this idea came to me, more of like a vision or image I guess: I envisioned two people walking a path together, side by side, the whole way. That was it! Just two people walking together. By now you are probably remembering the song I wrote you and performed miserably when I proposed (please don't spend any time reflecting on that horribly embarrassing moment). Well anyways, that song was based off that idea. It was so simple but yet so profound to me. We are all on the path home - just like Lehi's dream. Some are further down the path, some behind. Some are going fast, some going slower. Some, perhaps, even diverging off the path. Of course the first goal was to find a girl that was on the path and dedicated to staying on it. But then - and this is the critical part of my vision - the next task is to find a girl that is about the same place as me on that path and going the same speed as me. It would do no good to be partnered with a person that wanted to travel a different speed or wasn't even in the same location to start with... So as we continued to date I got the distinct feeling we were on the path at the exact same place, at the same time, going the same direction, at the same rate. How much more compatible can you be? I resolved that nothing else matters, and I'm still convinced it doesn't. That being said, I'm amazed at how similar we are in every regard. Our likes and dislikes, opinions, attitudes, disposition, we like to both travel, we like to sit and stare at each other, we both like small groups of friends, we both struggle to meet new friends, we are both cautious entering new things, we like to laugh, we hate to exercise, we love our kids, we love the gospel, and we love our Heavenly Father. And on top of that, our pasts and prior experiences are much the same so we have similar experiences to draw upon. I just can't imagine a more perfect travel companion to relate to, support, provide companionship, encourage, motivate, and assist on this pathway home than you! And even through we share a lot the same, we also bring something slightly different to our journey together that compliments the other. Similar to running that race, the pace setters I chose weren't exactly the same, sometimes they pushed me, other times they (I'm assuming) needed to be pushed but in the end we crossed the finish line and I know for me, with every ounce of energy sucked from me.
I am so blessed to have met a "running" mate to help set the pace as we continue the path home. I hope that sometimes I can help you. But I know you push me and motivate me and I'm ever so grateful for the company and love you provide as we travel this life together!
Happy trails!
Love,
Your true best "mate" (i.e. friend - or mate, I guess that can go both ways)
Yesterday I ran. Yes, it is astonishing but I did truly run and it HURT! I ran the 5K early in the morning in Kuwait with a million percent humidity and a billion degrees and (as I found out 1/4 way into the race) I ran it very out of shape. At about the 1/4 way mark, I realized I need some motivation to keep me going or else I was going to give into this extremely strong desire to stop and walk. So I noticed a couple of girls running next to me that one had a bright colored shirt that made it easy to track and they seemed to have been right ahead of me the whole time so far. I thought "if these girls can run this race than certainly I should be able to also, I'll just keep up with them." It turned out that these couple of girls were in obvious better shape than I was because not too long ahead, the one bright shirt started to get lost in the other shirts ahead. So I tried to catch up. Certainly I couldn't let them beat me! Eventually they apparently got tired too because they stopped to walk. "Hah!" I thought, "I got them now". Several minutes later they strolled by me again. A couple times this went on, but each time they got ahead, it pushed me to run faster. And in the end - well, they beat me. But we were pretty close...and I never stopped running like I was tempted to.
Do you know why you are the best girl for me? There are actually many reasons but one I pondered today is because you are as close to an exact replica of myself that I can picture anyone being. I remember when we were dating and I was pondering and pondering until my ponderer was sore about how to know who the right girl to marry would be and know we would be a compatible match. Then this idea came to me, more of like a vision or image I guess: I envisioned two people walking a path together, side by side, the whole way. That was it! Just two people walking together. By now you are probably remembering the song I wrote you and performed miserably when I proposed (please don't spend any time reflecting on that horribly embarrassing moment). Well anyways, that song was based off that idea. It was so simple but yet so profound to me. We are all on the path home - just like Lehi's dream. Some are further down the path, some behind. Some are going fast, some going slower. Some, perhaps, even diverging off the path. Of course the first goal was to find a girl that was on the path and dedicated to staying on it. But then - and this is the critical part of my vision - the next task is to find a girl that is about the same place as me on that path and going the same speed as me. It would do no good to be partnered with a person that wanted to travel a different speed or wasn't even in the same location to start with... So as we continued to date I got the distinct feeling we were on the path at the exact same place, at the same time, going the same direction, at the same rate. How much more compatible can you be? I resolved that nothing else matters, and I'm still convinced it doesn't. That being said, I'm amazed at how similar we are in every regard. Our likes and dislikes, opinions, attitudes, disposition, we like to both travel, we like to sit and stare at each other, we both like small groups of friends, we both struggle to meet new friends, we are both cautious entering new things, we like to laugh, we hate to exercise, we love our kids, we love the gospel, and we love our Heavenly Father. And on top of that, our pasts and prior experiences are much the same so we have similar experiences to draw upon. I just can't imagine a more perfect travel companion to relate to, support, provide companionship, encourage, motivate, and assist on this pathway home than you! And even through we share a lot the same, we also bring something slightly different to our journey together that compliments the other. Similar to running that race, the pace setters I chose weren't exactly the same, sometimes they pushed me, other times they (I'm assuming) needed to be pushed but in the end we crossed the finish line and I know for me, with every ounce of energy sucked from me.
I am so blessed to have met a "running" mate to help set the pace as we continue the path home. I hope that sometimes I can help you. But I know you push me and motivate me and I'm ever so grateful for the company and love you provide as we travel this life together!
Happy trails!
Love,
Your true best "mate" (i.e. friend - or mate, I guess that can go both ways)
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
goal time
Dear Favorite wife (okay only wife but you are still my favorite),
The one great benefit (at least for me) of going to Kuwait is all the free time that I can focus on developing myself in ways that I couldn't or just didn't have time for before. So at lest that is what I thought. How in the world does time get sucked up no matter where you go. I pretty much have two goals: work out in the morning and study in the afternoon. Easy enough right? WRONG! I've mornings down well enough but that means I have to go to bed at 7pm to get up at 3am. So easy, get off work at 4, I have a goal to run right after until 4:30, get some grub til 5 then read from 5-7 and sleep. Today I got off work, went to run according to plan for 30 minutes on the treadmill, was tired so soaked up the 3 gallons of sweat that spouted from somewhere on my forehead. Looked at my watch: 6:15??? I hadn't had dinner, I wasn't close to home, hadn't reqd anything and was supposed to be in bed in 45 minutes. One of the great mysteries of the universe. I just don't understqnd time.
But regarding goals, I was giving my goals some thought. Of course on the top of my list was working out and getting in shape which I still think is a great goal but someone bore their testimony Sunday about that. As much focus as we put on being physically fit, if we were to direct that to being spiritually fit we might find that to be of more worth. Sometimes in my rush to get to the gym, go run, track my meals, and then other good stuff like study dental, I put off reading my scriptures. I think it should be the exact opposite. I'm afraid I might come home all muscular and toned and able to do at least 611 push-ups one handed but have gotten week spiritually. What good is my "toned body" to my family - okay you don't count in that question, maybe good for you but what are the kids going to do with that? Of upmost importance is our spiritual fitness which requires daily scripture study, prayer, monthly fasting, and service along side obedience and covenant keeping. Of course I will continue to strive to go to the gym everyday (I definetely need some physical fitness too right now!!) but I will not close my eyes at night no matter how much time get sucked up into the mysterious time vortex until after I have studied my scriptures and said my prayers.
Speaking of, it is now way past my bed time and I still have to read scriptures. Tomorrow we get a field trip. YAY! We are going to the embassy to meet some general there. Pretty cool, eh? So I don't forget, when I continue my letter tomorrow I need to mention Joseph in jail and something else I thought worth writing bout that I apparntly forgot about. Well, yeah!
I sure do love you and I hope and will work and sacrifice to come home as fit as I absolitely can - in every respect!
Your husband - your only husband but still the one that loves you the most,
Me!
The one great benefit (at least for me) of going to Kuwait is all the free time that I can focus on developing myself in ways that I couldn't or just didn't have time for before. So at lest that is what I thought. How in the world does time get sucked up no matter where you go. I pretty much have two goals: work out in the morning and study in the afternoon. Easy enough right? WRONG! I've mornings down well enough but that means I have to go to bed at 7pm to get up at 3am. So easy, get off work at 4, I have a goal to run right after until 4:30, get some grub til 5 then read from 5-7 and sleep. Today I got off work, went to run according to plan for 30 minutes on the treadmill, was tired so soaked up the 3 gallons of sweat that spouted from somewhere on my forehead. Looked at my watch: 6:15??? I hadn't had dinner, I wasn't close to home, hadn't reqd anything and was supposed to be in bed in 45 minutes. One of the great mysteries of the universe. I just don't understqnd time.
But regarding goals, I was giving my goals some thought. Of course on the top of my list was working out and getting in shape which I still think is a great goal but someone bore their testimony Sunday about that. As much focus as we put on being physically fit, if we were to direct that to being spiritually fit we might find that to be of more worth. Sometimes in my rush to get to the gym, go run, track my meals, and then other good stuff like study dental, I put off reading my scriptures. I think it should be the exact opposite. I'm afraid I might come home all muscular and toned and able to do at least 611 push-ups one handed but have gotten week spiritually. What good is my "toned body" to my family - okay you don't count in that question, maybe good for you but what are the kids going to do with that? Of upmost importance is our spiritual fitness which requires daily scripture study, prayer, monthly fasting, and service along side obedience and covenant keeping. Of course I will continue to strive to go to the gym everyday (I definetely need some physical fitness too right now!!) but I will not close my eyes at night no matter how much time get sucked up into the mysterious time vortex until after I have studied my scriptures and said my prayers.
Speaking of, it is now way past my bed time and I still have to read scriptures. Tomorrow we get a field trip. YAY! We are going to the embassy to meet some general there. Pretty cool, eh? So I don't forget, when I continue my letter tomorrow I need to mention Joseph in jail and something else I thought worth writing bout that I apparntly forgot about. Well, yeah!
I sure do love you and I hope and will work and sacrifice to come home as fit as I absolitely can - in every respect!
Your husband - your only husband but still the one that loves you the most,
Me!
Monday, September 7, 2015
Sept 7 -Ali
Well I guess I will start this as more of a review of our day instead of trying to be cool and inspiring;)
We had a beautiful lazy day, Izaac spend most of the day riding his bike around town and playing with Jalen. Cora slept off her fever and sickness, or tried to she is still pretty warm but she atlas kept down the tylenol I gave her before bed. I hope she recovers quickly, she is always our sweet sickly one. I wonder how we can boost her immune system. DeNai gave me some medicine for her sty that is in her eye and she said it should clear up in a day or so. I am grateful for DeNai and her willingness to help others.
I am thinking of attempting to potty train Preston. We are about out of diapers(I have a whole box in the trunk but inside we ran out) so I thought we may give this a try. I read about a method were you keep them naked from the waste down for 3 days except for naps and bedtime and it is supposed to help them notice what is happening and where we want to put the potty. They said underwear feels too much like diapers and it is too easy to just wet and then change them. So... my poor mother gets to have her house used in my experiment to potty train our smart, cunning, adorably frisky silly little boy. Wish us luck! I am not positive that potty training is the best idea really, it kind of seems like so much more work then just changing a diaper but I suppose he has to learn sometime and we have a week where we have nothing scheduled so we may as well try it out.
I am avoiding going to bed as I really have nowhere to sleep. Cora has taken over my bed but I don't want to sleep in her bed in the attic incase she needs me here. The couches are love seats and really too small to fit me. There is a futon that I may end up on but we shall see if I don't end up just snuggling next to the lil heater and try not to wake her.
I would like to start working out at 6am each morning but for some reason the kids seem to sense this and are always so needy in the night and usually some end up in my bed which means they wake up if I try to leave or they have left me so exhausted that I just don't want to get up in the morning as I have been up all night. It is probably just an excuse but it seems to be working until I realize that this belly just won't pack up and leave on its own and I should really get to work on something!
My plan is to get a key to the school gym weight room and do my workout there at 6am based on the bodybuilding website trainer thingy. I would like to have Aubrey join me or someone for accountability and comradibility (yes that is now a word). I need to talk to her first.
I want to be my best self for you and for me and I appreciate the end of January deadline that will hopefully help me to stop procrastinating and be the person I want to be and also to be super hot for when you come home.
I love you! you are my everything!,,, as are all the things we have created together, We have some pretty great little people in training on our hands and I am trying hard not to take away from their awesomeness but to help them let it shine.
Love your adoring wifey, Me!
We had a beautiful lazy day, Izaac spend most of the day riding his bike around town and playing with Jalen. Cora slept off her fever and sickness, or tried to she is still pretty warm but she atlas kept down the tylenol I gave her before bed. I hope she recovers quickly, she is always our sweet sickly one. I wonder how we can boost her immune system. DeNai gave me some medicine for her sty that is in her eye and she said it should clear up in a day or so. I am grateful for DeNai and her willingness to help others.
I am thinking of attempting to potty train Preston. We are about out of diapers(I have a whole box in the trunk but inside we ran out) so I thought we may give this a try. I read about a method were you keep them naked from the waste down for 3 days except for naps and bedtime and it is supposed to help them notice what is happening and where we want to put the potty. They said underwear feels too much like diapers and it is too easy to just wet and then change them. So... my poor mother gets to have her house used in my experiment to potty train our smart, cunning, adorably frisky silly little boy. Wish us luck! I am not positive that potty training is the best idea really, it kind of seems like so much more work then just changing a diaper but I suppose he has to learn sometime and we have a week where we have nothing scheduled so we may as well try it out.
I am avoiding going to bed as I really have nowhere to sleep. Cora has taken over my bed but I don't want to sleep in her bed in the attic incase she needs me here. The couches are love seats and really too small to fit me. There is a futon that I may end up on but we shall see if I don't end up just snuggling next to the lil heater and try not to wake her.
I would like to start working out at 6am each morning but for some reason the kids seem to sense this and are always so needy in the night and usually some end up in my bed which means they wake up if I try to leave or they have left me so exhausted that I just don't want to get up in the morning as I have been up all night. It is probably just an excuse but it seems to be working until I realize that this belly just won't pack up and leave on its own and I should really get to work on something!
My plan is to get a key to the school gym weight room and do my workout there at 6am based on the bodybuilding website trainer thingy. I would like to have Aubrey join me or someone for accountability and comradibility (yes that is now a word). I need to talk to her first.
I want to be my best self for you and for me and I appreciate the end of January deadline that will hopefully help me to stop procrastinating and be the person I want to be and also to be super hot for when you come home.
I love you! you are my everything!,,, as are all the things we have created together, We have some pretty great little people in training on our hands and I am trying hard not to take away from their awesomeness but to help them let it shine.
Love your adoring wifey, Me!
Dear Favorite,
First and foremost, It absolutely has been an amazing, wonderful, adventurous, and memorable 10 years! In the military and just around group talks I hear people joke "I've been married 10 years but it feels like 100!". Or when we are training on resilience last week and the group is asked "what are some stressors in your life" and someone shouts out "MARRIAGE!" and a majority laughs and nods in agreement. They then ask "what's the solution to those stressors" and wise guy shouts back again "DIVORCE!"... I never understood that. Maybe you are just that much better than all the other wives out there or we just click better than most, but whatever the reason, I have found that our life together has been enjoyable. I don't think 'enjoyable' is probably even the right word; our life has been the fulfillment of all that I am and do and want to be and aspire to. I don't think I exaggerate to say our life is the purpose of MY life. It just doesn't make sense to joke about something that is part of me.
President Hinkley, after the passing away of Marjorie Hinkley, said that in their old age, Sister Hinkley had become more the girl of his dreams than the day that he met her. When I heard that it sounded cute and all but I didn't understand it. Nevertheless I continued to remember that and it seemed to make an impression on me. How can you get better than that magical time filled with flirting and dating and butterflies and gifts and surprises and sleepless nights dreaming of that new special love ever be topped? How can one improve from that moment of youthful love - the girl of your dreams? It seems that you peak out on love right about the moment you get married...at least I suppose that's how all the guys joking in our MRT class feel about it. In the past 10 years I have slowly come to realize what the Hinkley's had. Four kids, 5 moves (4 locations), 3 degrees, military, and deployment later we have shared a lot. And we made the choice to do it together - as one. I still can't pinpoint exactly what has made all the difference or why it has worked for us so well but I know it has. I'm sure there are many factors involved but one critical factor I'm certain of is the role of the gospel in our lives. Certainly the gospel has tied us together and aimed us at the same target. It's really hard to be divided if your both trying to hit the same thing - right? It's like going through a doorway at the same time: you either have to go through separately or get really really close. But in our case the target is so small that really really close isn't enough. The gospel target of perfection requires us to become one; not physically (though we can get close to it;) but spiritually one. I think we are spiritually one when one puts the needs of the other before their own and lives the commandments. On this deployment I have felt the hollowness of more than your physical absence, but your love that you invest in me that gives substance to my being. I don't know, maybe I'm being a little deep but you get what I mean, right?
Long story short, happy marriages must contain:
1. Selection of a partner that most nears the pinnacle of perfection and then come to the alter of the temple with the realization that they must work hard towards the successful joint living.
2. Great unselfishness directing all to the good of the family subjugating self.
3. Continued courtship and expressions of affection, kindness, and consideration to keep the love alive and growing.
4. Complete living of the commandments of the Lord.
I look forward to putting these ingredients together with you in our family recipe for years to come. We have journeyed well together thus far, lets keep up the journey!
Love,
Justice
First and foremost, It absolutely has been an amazing, wonderful, adventurous, and memorable 10 years! In the military and just around group talks I hear people joke "I've been married 10 years but it feels like 100!". Or when we are training on resilience last week and the group is asked "what are some stressors in your life" and someone shouts out "MARRIAGE!" and a majority laughs and nods in agreement. They then ask "what's the solution to those stressors" and wise guy shouts back again "DIVORCE!"... I never understood that. Maybe you are just that much better than all the other wives out there or we just click better than most, but whatever the reason, I have found that our life together has been enjoyable. I don't think 'enjoyable' is probably even the right word; our life has been the fulfillment of all that I am and do and want to be and aspire to. I don't think I exaggerate to say our life is the purpose of MY life. It just doesn't make sense to joke about something that is part of me.
President Hinkley, after the passing away of Marjorie Hinkley, said that in their old age, Sister Hinkley had become more the girl of his dreams than the day that he met her. When I heard that it sounded cute and all but I didn't understand it. Nevertheless I continued to remember that and it seemed to make an impression on me. How can you get better than that magical time filled with flirting and dating and butterflies and gifts and surprises and sleepless nights dreaming of that new special love ever be topped? How can one improve from that moment of youthful love - the girl of your dreams? It seems that you peak out on love right about the moment you get married...at least I suppose that's how all the guys joking in our MRT class feel about it. In the past 10 years I have slowly come to realize what the Hinkley's had. Four kids, 5 moves (4 locations), 3 degrees, military, and deployment later we have shared a lot. And we made the choice to do it together - as one. I still can't pinpoint exactly what has made all the difference or why it has worked for us so well but I know it has. I'm sure there are many factors involved but one critical factor I'm certain of is the role of the gospel in our lives. Certainly the gospel has tied us together and aimed us at the same target. It's really hard to be divided if your both trying to hit the same thing - right? It's like going through a doorway at the same time: you either have to go through separately or get really really close. But in our case the target is so small that really really close isn't enough. The gospel target of perfection requires us to become one; not physically (though we can get close to it;) but spiritually one. I think we are spiritually one when one puts the needs of the other before their own and lives the commandments. On this deployment I have felt the hollowness of more than your physical absence, but your love that you invest in me that gives substance to my being. I don't know, maybe I'm being a little deep but you get what I mean, right?
Long story short, happy marriages must contain:
1. Selection of a partner that most nears the pinnacle of perfection and then come to the alter of the temple with the realization that they must work hard towards the successful joint living.
2. Great unselfishness directing all to the good of the family subjugating self.
3. Continued courtship and expressions of affection, kindness, and consideration to keep the love alive and growing.
4. Complete living of the commandments of the Lord.
I look forward to putting these ingredients together with you in our family recipe for years to come. We have journeyed well together thus far, lets keep up the journey!
Love,
Justice
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Dear Favorite,
I loved reading your letter. I could hear your voice as I read it which made me feel as though you were close to me, like the nightly talks we have about our days after the kids fall asleep. I love to listen to your voice. Alas.
Change is always a suspicious thing. It may sound morbid but I recall a story of I think German Nazis that held prisoners of war? I'm not clear on the details but the story goes they offered their prisoner a choice: to walk through the door and face whatever is behind it or to be assassinated on the spot. The majority (if not all) of the prisoners chose to be assassinated. Of course what was behind the door was their freedom. I guess it just goes to show that we as humans don't like the unknown. But it is the unknown that demands our faith, stretches us and brings new opportunities for growth and discovery. If I know you (and I'd like to say I do very well!), you will come out on top and make the best of change.
In contrast to you going home, I've been removed far from it. Maybe that's had its advantages though. My mind has been pretty consumed with all the newness of everything. I daresay it has been fun. CRC was interesting. We had lots of downtime especially because I got most everything done before arriving. So I spent lots of time sitting in the super fancy "Freedom Crossing" food court calling you or using the internet to read and shop (and productively pay some bills too). My roommate, John...come to think of it, why is it so many of the people I come to be friends with are named John? Weird. Anyways, like I was saying, my roommate John and I spent time exploring the base and doing things like rock climbing at this sweet indoor activity center. We ate lots of good food (it was my final splurge before Kuwait) and I even went to the theater to watch a movie. All in all it wasn't a bad week and I don't think the gravity of leaving had really settled in yet.
So now I've been in Kuwait for a week. Seeing all the sand and desolate, arid desert around me makes everything become more real. It finally hit me, "I'm far from home". Now all I have is myself and it feels so empty. Being away makes me realize how truly I have become only one part of a greater whole - I'm one component of the family. And without the rest of the family I am incomplete. Not having you around, or even just having the comfort knowing you are close by if I need you, has opened my eyes to the phrase "you complete me!". But really, YOU COMPLETE ME!
I got to sit in fast and testimony meeting today in a small group of about 15 or so. The first testimony was from a man who just recently lost his son who was serving in Germany. I had read this morning a lesson about eternal families and felt to share that in my testimony. It was hard to get most of my words out and amongst a bunch of hardened soldiers I felt like sissy. But the feelings were strong in the room as others bore their testimony and we all felt a sense of camaraderie. I love how the gospel can do that!
I am so grateful for eternal families! Elder Hammond said that the pinnacle of all the gifts of God and the achievements we can obtain is eternal family. It is the reason and purpose behind it all. Without any comparison, my family is the greatest treasure that I have and the gospel allows me to enjoy my family forever and gives me a foundation of hope and a pattern of living to strengthen my family into an eternal unit. You, my sweet wife, are my eternal companion. I wish nothing more than to have you leaned into me, under my arm, in heaven as we overlook the marvelous creations we made together, namely our beautiful children! There isn't anything in heaven or earth more motivational and of greater reason to hope for than that vision.
You will always be mine, my favorite!
Love,
Your Favorite
I loved reading your letter. I could hear your voice as I read it which made me feel as though you were close to me, like the nightly talks we have about our days after the kids fall asleep. I love to listen to your voice. Alas.
Change is always a suspicious thing. It may sound morbid but I recall a story of I think German Nazis that held prisoners of war? I'm not clear on the details but the story goes they offered their prisoner a choice: to walk through the door and face whatever is behind it or to be assassinated on the spot. The majority (if not all) of the prisoners chose to be assassinated. Of course what was behind the door was their freedom. I guess it just goes to show that we as humans don't like the unknown. But it is the unknown that demands our faith, stretches us and brings new opportunities for growth and discovery. If I know you (and I'd like to say I do very well!), you will come out on top and make the best of change.
In contrast to you going home, I've been removed far from it. Maybe that's had its advantages though. My mind has been pretty consumed with all the newness of everything. I daresay it has been fun. CRC was interesting. We had lots of downtime especially because I got most everything done before arriving. So I spent lots of time sitting in the super fancy "Freedom Crossing" food court calling you or using the internet to read and shop (and productively pay some bills too). My roommate, John...come to think of it, why is it so many of the people I come to be friends with are named John? Weird. Anyways, like I was saying, my roommate John and I spent time exploring the base and doing things like rock climbing at this sweet indoor activity center. We ate lots of good food (it was my final splurge before Kuwait) and I even went to the theater to watch a movie. All in all it wasn't a bad week and I don't think the gravity of leaving had really settled in yet.
So now I've been in Kuwait for a week. Seeing all the sand and desolate, arid desert around me makes everything become more real. It finally hit me, "I'm far from home". Now all I have is myself and it feels so empty. Being away makes me realize how truly I have become only one part of a greater whole - I'm one component of the family. And without the rest of the family I am incomplete. Not having you around, or even just having the comfort knowing you are close by if I need you, has opened my eyes to the phrase "you complete me!". But really, YOU COMPLETE ME!
I got to sit in fast and testimony meeting today in a small group of about 15 or so. The first testimony was from a man who just recently lost his son who was serving in Germany. I had read this morning a lesson about eternal families and felt to share that in my testimony. It was hard to get most of my words out and amongst a bunch of hardened soldiers I felt like sissy. But the feelings were strong in the room as others bore their testimony and we all felt a sense of camaraderie. I love how the gospel can do that!
I am so grateful for eternal families! Elder Hammond said that the pinnacle of all the gifts of God and the achievements we can obtain is eternal family. It is the reason and purpose behind it all. Without any comparison, my family is the greatest treasure that I have and the gospel allows me to enjoy my family forever and gives me a foundation of hope and a pattern of living to strengthen my family into an eternal unit. You, my sweet wife, are my eternal companion. I wish nothing more than to have you leaned into me, under my arm, in heaven as we overlook the marvelous creations we made together, namely our beautiful children! There isn't anything in heaven or earth more motivational and of greater reason to hope for than that vision.
You will always be mine, my favorite!
Love,
Your Favorite
Happy Anniversary Sept 3 2015 -Ali
I am so grateful that we were able to celebrate such an momentous milestone in our marriage early and together even if we couldn't be together on our actual Anniversary. But as I was thinking to myself on Sept 3 I realized that I don't need a special day to celebrate our amazing marriage. We do that each and every time we hold each other, each "I love you", each laugh, each adventure, and each trial. We have and support each other each and every day and know that what we have is precious and strive hard to strengthen it and make it better always.
I am so thankful for you and for Us. I love you and know you are perfect for me, we are an eternal team.
I am so thankful for you and for Us. I love you and know you are perfect for me, we are an eternal team.
Sept 6 2015 -Ali
Justice,
I just woke up from a clear dream and so naturally you get to hear about it :) Don't get too excited it's not THAT kind of dream ;)
Alyssa and I were going on a trip with a group of Magrath people(maybe a tour of Guatemala) and we had all met at Grandma Olsons/the Airport to wait for our flight. I placed Biscuit in a small room so she could walk around while we waited(because of course were would take a cat on a sight seeing trip in Guatemala) We were playing games and visiting and just biding our time for the plane to arrive when all the sudden the screen flashed "Plane Boarding".
In that moment we realized that although we had everything we needed we hadn't gotten it prepared. We frantically started running to the van to pull out our bags and backpacks. They were open and there was random things mixed in with essential things and I wasn't sure what to grab and what to leave behind. Alyssa wasn't much help to me as she was grabbing her things and preparing herself so I was frustrated as I realized time was getting short and we may miss our opportunity to go on the trip. We had our tickets in hand I had remembered to get one but wasn't sure exactly where it was(turned up in my pocket). I was searching the car for my blue folder with our passports and important documents in it before finally abandoning hope for it and thought surely they will still let us on with just our ticket and my drivers license, and hopefully I will still be able to get home without these documents.
I finally got all the bags out of the car and grabbed biscuits cage to go and fetch her. I went inside but couldn't find where she was. I was looking all around for her before thinking "Why are we even taking her on this trip? That seems like a bad idea." but I couldn't just leave her stuck there so I asked a friend who was still there and going back past moms house to take her back to moms for me. I still couldn't find her but decided to just leave the things open and she should find her own way home the few blocks back to moms house.
I woke up in this moment not knowing if I ever made it or not, but assuming that I most likely didn't.
It immediately reminded me of the Parable of the 10 Virgins. Just last night I was thinking (I know it is self centered and wrong) that I have things going pretty well right now and probably don't need to fast for anything even though it is fast Sunday. We are here safely at my parents house surrounded by support and help. You are in Kuwait settling in, safe, and doing your dentist thing. Upon closer consideration I realized how wrong I was.
We have so many things that I have absolutely no control over and need the guidance of a loving Heavenly Father to help me in many troubled times that could possibly happen. We are relying on hope that our house is safe in Louisiana, that our car runs smoothly and that we don't have any accidents or troubles with it, Kuwait is safe for now but I have no idea if the actions of others will change that instantly and leave you stranded so far away from me. We really have no health insurance here and should something happen it would be difficult to find care. These were just a few of the things that could go wrong, and yes we have addressed these concerns and done our best to prevent and prepare for them but we are still trusting that things will workout.
I feel a connection with the Parable of the 10 virgins because I know it is about me. I have been invited to the Wedding(trip, -celestial kingdom) and I have taken steps to prepare myself for when the bridegroom comes(buying the ticket, waiting at the airport, luggage in the car --marrying in the temple, attending church, fulfilling callings, FHE, etc...) I am waiting for what comes next (to board the plane -to die or see the Savior come). When the call comes will I be ready? I wasn't in my dream.
I had the luggage but it wasn't where it needed to be, to be helpful(I have scriptures and church classes, temple sessions, study guides/manuals, but are they being used as diligently as they should so that I might be prepared in that long awaited moment) being in the car wasn't close enough especially when I hadn't packed it as well as I should have. I had suitcases but they were filled with random things most of which I really didn't need. Especially Biscuit. There was no need to bring her on such a trip where she could get lost or sick. I feel like it was a foolish things to focus on bringing and when it came down to it, it was a wasted effort as I couldn't find her anywhere even though I thought I had put her in a safe place. (I feel like this was how the Nephites/Lamenites felt as they tried to hide up their treasures in the earth but couldn't find them again) If you plan on bringing the wrong things with you when you die they will be lost. Things like material goods, treasures of the earth, have no place in the celestial kingdom and will slip through our grasping fingers no matter how hard we try, we will not be able to take them to where we really want to go.
I am determined to try harder to prepare for the second coming and our life to come by holding fast to the instructions and guidance we have been given. We have been invited to the Wedding feast and now must prepare for the wait for the bridegroom. I don't want to be frantically searching for things that I thought I had more time to prepare as I sat visiting and paying games instead. I don't want the moment to come and realize that the things I had packed were of little or no use or value to me. I know I need to do better but I will start today.
SO.... apparently there was your Sunday talk for the day. I love you and appreciate you so much I want to be with you forever and we have been promised that we can if we fulfill our part. I know I needed the reminder last night that I still have a lot of work to do to prepare myself to be your eternal companion. I love you and want you FOREVER!
Your adoring wife, Ali
I just woke up from a clear dream and so naturally you get to hear about it :) Don't get too excited it's not THAT kind of dream ;)
Alyssa and I were going on a trip with a group of Magrath people(maybe a tour of Guatemala) and we had all met at Grandma Olsons/the Airport to wait for our flight. I placed Biscuit in a small room so she could walk around while we waited(because of course were would take a cat on a sight seeing trip in Guatemala) We were playing games and visiting and just biding our time for the plane to arrive when all the sudden the screen flashed "Plane Boarding".
In that moment we realized that although we had everything we needed we hadn't gotten it prepared. We frantically started running to the van to pull out our bags and backpacks. They were open and there was random things mixed in with essential things and I wasn't sure what to grab and what to leave behind. Alyssa wasn't much help to me as she was grabbing her things and preparing herself so I was frustrated as I realized time was getting short and we may miss our opportunity to go on the trip. We had our tickets in hand I had remembered to get one but wasn't sure exactly where it was(turned up in my pocket). I was searching the car for my blue folder with our passports and important documents in it before finally abandoning hope for it and thought surely they will still let us on with just our ticket and my drivers license, and hopefully I will still be able to get home without these documents.
I finally got all the bags out of the car and grabbed biscuits cage to go and fetch her. I went inside but couldn't find where she was. I was looking all around for her before thinking "Why are we even taking her on this trip? That seems like a bad idea." but I couldn't just leave her stuck there so I asked a friend who was still there and going back past moms house to take her back to moms for me. I still couldn't find her but decided to just leave the things open and she should find her own way home the few blocks back to moms house.
I woke up in this moment not knowing if I ever made it or not, but assuming that I most likely didn't.
It immediately reminded me of the Parable of the 10 Virgins. Just last night I was thinking (I know it is self centered and wrong) that I have things going pretty well right now and probably don't need to fast for anything even though it is fast Sunday. We are here safely at my parents house surrounded by support and help. You are in Kuwait settling in, safe, and doing your dentist thing. Upon closer consideration I realized how wrong I was.
We have so many things that I have absolutely no control over and need the guidance of a loving Heavenly Father to help me in many troubled times that could possibly happen. We are relying on hope that our house is safe in Louisiana, that our car runs smoothly and that we don't have any accidents or troubles with it, Kuwait is safe for now but I have no idea if the actions of others will change that instantly and leave you stranded so far away from me. We really have no health insurance here and should something happen it would be difficult to find care. These were just a few of the things that could go wrong, and yes we have addressed these concerns and done our best to prevent and prepare for them but we are still trusting that things will workout.
I feel a connection with the Parable of the 10 virgins because I know it is about me. I have been invited to the Wedding(trip, -celestial kingdom) and I have taken steps to prepare myself for when the bridegroom comes(buying the ticket, waiting at the airport, luggage in the car --marrying in the temple, attending church, fulfilling callings, FHE, etc...) I am waiting for what comes next (to board the plane -to die or see the Savior come). When the call comes will I be ready? I wasn't in my dream.
I had the luggage but it wasn't where it needed to be, to be helpful(I have scriptures and church classes, temple sessions, study guides/manuals, but are they being used as diligently as they should so that I might be prepared in that long awaited moment) being in the car wasn't close enough especially when I hadn't packed it as well as I should have. I had suitcases but they were filled with random things most of which I really didn't need. Especially Biscuit. There was no need to bring her on such a trip where she could get lost or sick. I feel like it was a foolish things to focus on bringing and when it came down to it, it was a wasted effort as I couldn't find her anywhere even though I thought I had put her in a safe place. (I feel like this was how the Nephites/Lamenites felt as they tried to hide up their treasures in the earth but couldn't find them again) If you plan on bringing the wrong things with you when you die they will be lost. Things like material goods, treasures of the earth, have no place in the celestial kingdom and will slip through our grasping fingers no matter how hard we try, we will not be able to take them to where we really want to go.
I am determined to try harder to prepare for the second coming and our life to come by holding fast to the instructions and guidance we have been given. We have been invited to the Wedding feast and now must prepare for the wait for the bridegroom. I don't want to be frantically searching for things that I thought I had more time to prepare as I sat visiting and paying games instead. I don't want the moment to come and realize that the things I had packed were of little or no use or value to me. I know I need to do better but I will start today.
SO.... apparently there was your Sunday talk for the day. I love you and appreciate you so much I want to be with you forever and we have been promised that we can if we fulfill our part. I know I needed the reminder last night that I still have a lot of work to do to prepare myself to be your eternal companion. I love you and want you FOREVER!
Your adoring wife, Ali
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