It was tiresome getting the kids up and put the door after eh weekend. The gym was closed due to the election so Adrien tok the kids to school. She is a blessing to have around and I am grateful for her small acts of service. The rest of us had a lazy day around the house. I finished sewing the last two pony hats and now just have finishing touches on each of them. I will be excited when Halloween comes and it is all done. and hopefully the kiddos will want to wear them when I finish making them.
I have been trying to Ponderize Exodus 25:2 it says "Speak unto the children of Israel, that they bring me an offering: of every man that giveth it willingly with his heart ye shall take my offering." I liked it because Heavenly Father has given us the opportunity to serve and follow him and if we give our sacrifice willingly he will accept it. It is not enough to do what we are asked but if we do it with a willing heart we will be blessed. I am trying to grow a willing heart and to cultivate this pure intent within myself. I know the desire is there but sometimes I hold back. I listened to a BYU devotional from Elder Anderson he spoke about the passing of Elder Perry and Elder Packer. He also spoke a compensatory blessing for all the hard times that we have in this world. But like all blessings they are predicated upon our service and devotion to God. As we are living the commandments we will be blessed with the ability to fulfill whatever challenges we are facing.
Izaac has been really struggling with anger. I am trying to be patient and have patted myself on the back a few times for not getting upset but talking through his feelings and asking him to explain himself instead of assuming I know what is going on. He will be pleasant just long enough to get what he wants and then goes off the deep end if I say anything he doesn't like. I know he goes through these moods often and it has been a constant in his life but I wish I was better at knowing how to deal with it and helping him overcome these feelings and actions. I am frustrated.
I failed in my goal to spend quality time with each of the kids today although I did sit with each of them one on one at some point in the day I'm just not sure how positive it was. I will re commit myself for tomorrow and try again.
I have been reading my scriptures and am trying to listen to wholesome talks and broadcasts to get my mind focused on better things. It is amazing how much media influences me. The things I watch, read about, and listen to are the things I think about all the time. They even permeate my dreams more often then not. I want to fill my mind an heart with good thoughts.
I am more determined in my goal to attend the temple each week on Wednesdays and I am thankful to be in a situation where this can be a reality. I am greatful to mom and her willingness to serve and help me and do it so willingly.
I love you and I like talking to you. I want you to be surrounded by good things also. I want you to have good thoughts I'm sorry if I detract from that sometimes. I want you to know that I am completely and fully committed to us. I want to last forever. I want the blessings that have been promised if we fulfill our commitment with a willing heart.
I love our children even though they more often then not drive me up the wall and I absolutely love the silence at the end of the night but wouldn't trade it for the happy curfuffel that is our day to day.
You are the peanut in my M&M.
Love the fly in your soup.
- Me
PS you are a frog in this and love flies in your soup... just in case you were wondering:)
Oh because I was excited about a fly in my soup anyways. Thanks for being so dedicated to our family. You do so much to make our family a great team to be part of. Go Team Pilgrim! I will keep my thoughts as focused as possible on the eternal goal and fill my mind with goodness. Thanks for the reminder! That reminder alone is evidence that rather than distract me, you are bringing me and supporting me in doing what's right. I am thankful for your faith. I understand your frustrations being a mom and also dealing with Isaac. I love the video that is on lds.org homepage right now called "Am I a good Man?" It has somewhat to do with making good choices through life but i think you will appreciate the role of the parent in that video. I think it will hit home with what you may be feeling. All I can say is that by talking to him with patience and love and respect for his feelings but firm in what's right then that's all you can do. I like you idea of allowing him to express his feelings. Asking good questions that allow a person to talk and open up is the basis of both the MRT class I took last year and the suicide class I took this weekend. Each class insisted that the care giver not speak or offer direction as much as possible but rather guides the inflicted individual by talking out their feelings and finding their own answers. Then the care giver supports and encourages those solutions. I believe in you!
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