It is way to late to be up and yet here I am. I was trying to cross stitch and it is slow going but I think that I am on the right track, for now.
It was fast Sunday and I actually remembered to fast, with the exception of tasting the sauce I was making for dinner and popping in a few grapes before I remembered... oops.
In sacrament meeting it was mentioned that we represent the gospel and Christ and the example we send to others. It got me thinking that if someone had to judge mormons, or the church, or even Christ himself(as we have promised to try to become like him to stand as a witness and example of him) how accurate would their perceptions be based on how I act. I know that I am weak and struggling in so many areas. I know there is so much that I don't know. How confident would I be to stand as a witness of Christ and be the only representation that someone may have of the Gospel. I need to strengthen my spiritual muscles and build my confidence in the knowledge that I do have and build upon it.
It was also mentioned in passing the scripture D&C 121:45. I love that scripture because of how powerful the imagery it is in the sentence "Then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of thy God" What a joy it will to be to stand in front of our God in confidence. I know that I have not been doing all that I can do. I love to be lazy and I love to excuse myself from things or procrastinate and justify my lack of action. I do have a desire to be better but I seem to lack the drive to truly move forward in any significant manner.
45 Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
I am slightly getting off topic I really wanted to mention the first part of the scripture I remember our troubles as we were preparing to get married and the challenges to stem our physical desires and the council given to you to memorize this scripture. How perfect it is for our time apart now. I know that if we garnish out thoughts with virtue we shall be blessed. We shall find strength and confidence as we show charity and faith to those around us and build ur testimonies together. We can become one as we strive to each become more like our Savior.
The kids and I watched Saturdays Warrior and I basically balled through the entire thing. I am probably over emotional right now as I feel like I have a lot of things to work through emotionally. I am a push through it kind of person but I know that the stress leaks though every now and again as I watch cheesy LDS movies. Izaacs comment about the movie was that "there are too many songs in this movie" HA! he is such a boy. Have you seen Saturdays Warrior?? if you haven't had the pleasure then we will be renting it as soon as you get back. It is all about having more babies!!! you want more right???? JKS I am not that baby hungry. I am truly grateful for the ones we have and want to be the mother that they need and deserve before trying to add more onto our plate.
I apologize there there is no real coherent transitions between thoughts I am too tired to proofread and make sense of the things y fingers have put down.
I love you oh so much and I want to grow with you. I want to be old with you. I want to look into your wrinkly face 50 years down the road totally and completely smitten still. Looking into your poopy brown eyes and encircled in your warm embrace. ps I love your eyes even if you think they are poo colored:)
My eyes are poo colored, its just a fact. But I'm every so grateful you like them (no one ever said poo color is bad...it's just a color, right?).
ReplyDeleteInteresting thing is the same scripture was brought up in church a few Sundays ago. Since then I too have been repeating it in my head. I seriously think it is one of the most powerful scriptures I know and is probably tied if not surpassed my favorite scripture. I feel that, for me anyways, it speaks to everything that I need and desire. I love it as a family scripture since it was kind of the scripture our family was founded upon, as you said.
I think we have both been prompted to take some hard and painful steps forward. I think we have bee focused for a while now on ourselves (well, again, I'm speaking mostly for myself) as we have been going to school and setting up our profession, etc. I really believe this deployment is a critical time for us to assess what we need to do next. I feel we both need to be spending more time on our knees this next few months and more time in the scriptures than we have before. We need to focus more on our children and their needs and more on serving those around us.
I want nothing more than to grow older and deeper in love with you. I want to hold your frail little hand and watch in admiration and love our children living honorable good lives and raising grandchildren and living right. I want to be with you in whatever awesome white robes that we might wear in heaven with our perfected bodies and perfected love and complete unity as a family forever.
And yes, we should rent Saturday's Warrior.