I hope you know how much I love you. I love having you home and getting to snuggle in close to you each night. I love to see you with our kids and how amazing you are. You are a wonderful father who they all adore. and for good reason. I appreciate how easy you make it seem to just play and have fun with the kids. I am grateful for the time and effort you put in to taking each moment with them.
I am having a hard time right now and I am going to chalk it up to stressing about the move, the house, the whole unknown country thing and getting everyone and everything there and settled. moving a few times has definitely shown me how stressed I get and I want to apologize for my many crazy mood swings. If i am not forcefully trying to make myself smile right now I just don't feel it. I feel that I am running on auto pilot and it is frustrating to me because I just want to enjoy life and the summer and the kids but I feel so tied up in knots inside it is a constant struggle to maintain my emotions. I honestly brake out in tears in the most random of places, who knows what could set me off, could be a commercial about a puppy, an controversial story on Facebook, or a bird flying by. I feel like a crazy person and I know it has come out on our kids and you and for that I am truly sorry. I want to be the best person for this job but so often I feel so under qualified for everything. I want to want to cook, clean, take care of everything but I somedays just can't get myself to do it and you are wonderful to come home after working hard all day to pick up the slack but often having you do it just makes me feel worse about myself for not having it done that I spiral back down.
I just want you to know how much I love you and how thankful I am for each and everything you do. I know the best medicine for me is to have your arms around me and your body next to mine. I want you to know that I am trying and I will get better.
I love you so so so so much!!!
you are my everything and as long as we can be together I am the happiest person in the world. I adore you.
your slightly bipolar wife who still loves you despite being crazy.
Ali
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